Once upon a time, it was possible to board an airplane and be one of a small group of high-flying elite. You had rows of seats to stretch out on, no one to climb over and an empty aisle to wander. You felt special. Today, an airplane is more likely to be an unfunny joke, the proverbial cattle car with wings. On holidays, weekends, and days before and after weekends, you can be sure that the plane will be packed and you will be positioned in a center seat with sumo wrestlers on either side. It is easy to believe you will lose your mind over one more ground delay, one more person in front of you reclining his seat into your precious personal space, or one more flight where you must pay for food that is barely edible.
What to do? For starters, travel Tuesday through Thursday if at all possible. If you can wrangle an upgrade to first class or business, you can stop reading right now. But if you are an average Joe or Jane who has to put up with the hassle of traveling during busy times, here are a few tips.
Seats on planes are not all equal. The bulkhead and the emergency exit rows have more leg room. Many prefer the window seats because watching clouds sail by gives a sense of open space. Aisle seats are desirable because you don’t have to crawl over people to get up.
Beat the crowd by leaving at an odd time. The busiest flights are usually aimed at business travelers who need to get somewhere at the beginning of the work day or depart at the end. If your schedule is flexible, an off-hour flight (say 1 p.m.) is likely to be less crowded.
One thing you definitely don’t want to do is spend a lot of time with your client impatiently waiting for a table at lunch. Make reservations! And if the restaurant will not take them, ask what time is best for quick seating. Graciously plead your case to the person on the phone, explaining that they can make your day by helping to seat you and your client. Many people in the hospitality business really are hospitable and want to help. Maybe the hottest, most happening (and most crowded) restaurant in town isn’t where you want to go. Consider meeting for breakfast, brunch or afternoon tea as alternatives to peak-hours lunch. And here’s a tricky suggestion, sometimes totally inappropriate and potentially embarrassing, but sometimes just the right magic touch: slip the maitre d’ a twenty as you thank him for his help in quickly finding you a table.
We put a great premium on the magic of good food, and this tip goes for all travelers, whether in plane, train or automobile. Knowing that you have something special tucked away to eat enhances the pleasure factor of a trip. We have traveled with great slices of Brie, hunks of pâté, elegant little loaves of artisan bread, homemade brownies and pound cake. You probably do not want to bring things on board that are messy (although it can be mighty tempting to pick up a slab of ribs at Carson’s* or a fully-dressed Superdawg** if you’re on your way to O’Hare for a long dinnertime flight). Nor is it wise to bring food that is really smelly (can the Camembert) or raise major disposal issues. The flight attendant will not like you if you hand her your rib bones or empty lobster shell!
There are two ways of dealing with crowds. One is to go insane and have an inner dialogue going about the hideousness of humanity. The other approach is to realize that there is no better people-watching venue than an airport. You will see people too weird for “The Jerry Springer Show,” celebrities without their makeup, exotic women in ethnic dress and mysterious millionaires surrounded by their entourage.
Finally, always remember that a crowded plane, airport or auto rental bus is only a temporary state of affairs. Soon, you will be in your comfortable hotel room or back home in your own bed.
*Carson’s, the Place for Ribs: 612 N. Wells St., Chicago, IL. 312-280-9200.
**Superdawg: 6363 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, IL. 773-763-0660.
