For years now, I have been the marriage partner who has traveled the most for business. Usually this has meant one or two trips per month - mostly simple day trips from Boston to Washington, D.C., or New York City. But recently, my husband started a new job,- a work-from-home position for a company based in California. And for the first time in our married life, he will be traveling regularly.
His first trip to the company’s corporate headquarters lasted about a week. It was a nice change from our family’s usual routine. I was spending all of my non-work hours with the boys - taking them to their sports practices, walking them to the bus stop in the morning and meeting them after school. I ran all the errands. But the truth is, a lot of household chores simply didn’t get done that week. Laundry piled up. Beds were left unmade. Tasks that could get pushed off until the following week were unquestionably postponed. Each night of my husband’s trip, I flopped on to the couch, sometimes with a cold glass of white wine in my hand, and thought about how much I missed him.
“How do single parents do this?,” I wondered - day after day, week after week!
When I travel for business, I do a lot of advance work so things run smoothly at home. I make list after list, stock the fridge and pantry with the family’s favorite foods and alert a good neighbor that I will be away in case an emergency happens at school and neither I nor my husband can be reached. I sort of expect that when I’m traveling, my husband will do little more than work his day job and attend to the basic needs of the children - food, school, sports, baths and sleep.
I’ve always had this false perception - admittedly, I don’t know where it came from - that if I was the parent at home and he was the one traveling for business that, somehow, I’d be able to maintain our normal family routine with ease. I’d get all the food shopping, cleaning and laundry done. Sure, I’d be running around more, but I generally predict the same hot meals for supper and the same smooth evening routine topped off with snuggles and stories before bed.
Such hubris I had. Boy, was I ever wrong!
There’s no denying business travel can take a toll on spouses and families. Most of the time my husband is away on business I feel half-crazy because - let’s face it - my better half is missing! Taking on all the responsibilities that are usually split between two people is never easy. But it’s not always such a bad thing. Business trips offer an opportunity to do things a little differently. I spend less time worrying about making extensive family dinners and more time playing board games. We order pizza and eat it in front of Nickelodeon on the TV. The boys and I snuggle together in my bed for stories, instead of each one being tucked into his room.
Before we know it, Dad comes home and life returns to normal. That is, until mom has her next business trip. Then half-crazy starts all over again.
